A few quick paddles, then I crouched as the paddleboard glided under a bridge. Isaac whimpered as the little black crabs that freak him out scuttled along the cave-like walls. Eloise said, “Spoooooooooky!” then clung to me as it echoed.
The kids swam between Chris’ board and mine, laughing and drumming their coconuts. “It’s a coconut drum! It’s a coconut drum!” At home they sing “It’s an actual drum! It’s an actual drum!” as they bang on stuff. We saw a seahorse, loads of fish, exotic birds.
It was all fun and games until a man called to me from the waterside edge of his lawn. “I saw your kids tumble into the water earlier and I just wanted to let you know—I’m a retired pediatrician and there have been reports of kids getting UTIs after swimming in here, but they should be fine if you give them a good bath when you get home!”
GROSS. Maybe he’s just a grouchy guy trying to scare people off his canal. But he didn’t seem grouchy at all. So both kids got a good scrub before naps, then Eloise got her third bath in like 12 hours after she peed all over the floor. Again. POTTY TRAINING IS THE WORST. I don’t know how I did it with Isaac while up all night with a newborn in winter while Chris was deployed. But that’s life: flashes of indescribable beauty interspersed with long jags as Shit Management Expert.
Chris is on duty for search and rescue backup so he could not join me in a tropical beverage to while away my potty training cares in these tropical climes.
The Backwater Coconut
1 shot dark Hawaiian rum
4 oz coconut water
Squeeze of lime or lemon
Prep: Stir and drink before the next mess presents itself.