The Navy Wife’s Guide to Confession, or Shameless Product Endorsement I Should Get Paid For…But Am Not

Dear Chris,

I wasn’t going to tell you, but I think I need to because I feel guilty. Don’t get mad. Here goes……

I bought a Swiffer Sweeper and I really love it. I’m sorry I don’t like that expensive wet vacuum we bought. 🙁 I really tried. But I saw the Swiffer at the store and I thought, “that looks like exactly what I need.” I didn’t buy it then, but our floors were so gross and driving me absolutely nuts that I couldn’t help myself. I went back and looked at it again, and again didn’t buy it, but finally I just couldn’t take it. I went and bought the Swiffer ($7) with an extra package of 16 dry sweepers ($4) and 24 wet mopper pads ($6.95). Our house seemed so gross after coming home from Australia to all the mold in the tatami room and I hate not being able to touch my feet to the floor without it turning my socks black, and i know the floors always look nice after you wet vac, but the little cruddies and litter stuck to the floor and stuff have to be scrubbed off anyway. I just take the Swiffer and put a dry sweep thing on it and SWOOP! The floor is clear, then a mop pad and SCRUB!! I can push and scrub as much as I want until all those little nasty kitty cruddies are gone. Then I don’t have to rinse out and reuse or even TOUCH the mop scrubber like on the wet vac—I just throw it away! The Swiffer itself stays nice and clean so I know I’m starting clean whenever I Swiff. (Whoa, that is a shiny floor that kitty is sitting on!)

I feel bad. I wasn’t going to tell you but the day after I mopped the kitchen I was like, “Whoa, this looks so nice I’m going to do the entryway!!” And then the entryway looked so nice I swept and mopped our bedroom for like the first time EVER, and then that looked so nice I did the living room!!! It just all looks so clean and shiny and makes me so happy but I feel that tiny bit of guilt for buying it when we have a perfectly good wet vacuum that I don’t like and can’t scrub with. So please tell me it’s ok so I can enjoy our sparkling, shiny, clean, fresh-scented floors. THE FLOORS LOOK SO NICE!! I can’t believe what a good job this tiny stick and sweeper sheet do, to say nothing of the wonders of the mop. I like it so much i called my mom and told her to buy one. I just love it. I love it more than that tiny vacuum you made me get rid of when we got married. I love it like a seagull loves the sea. I have never had such clean floors (mainly because I’ve always had carpeting and have no idea how to clean a bare floor). It makes me so happy (except for the wet vac guilt! help!!)

do you forgive me? If not, reserve judgement until you see our floors. This is a different house than the mushroom heap I came home to last Wednesday.

Love,
Tidy Wifey