Isaac (our leprechaun) and I returned home from the store this afternoon and were throwing everything in the Crock Pot when the doorbell rang. A clean-cut older gentleman in an apron said he wasn’t selling anything but if I had a bowl he’d give me a salad. Huh? What is this, the Jehovah’s Witness of salads? Is this a salad-bration of life? Oh well, why not embrace speaking the same language as solicitors?
“Sure, I have a salad bowl,” I said. The man reappeared with a baggie full of whole veggies and invited himself inside.
“Hold on!” Chris stopped me here as I recounted the day over dinner. “You let him inside? Of our HOUSE? Don’t do that!”
“Chris, he was wearing an apron,” I explained. “Serial killers don’t wear aprons.”
“I don’t care! Don’t let strangers in!”
“ANYWAY, he grated a radish, two kinds of cabbage, a carrot, a green apple and a lemon and a cucumber into this bowl…”
Chris was still staring at me like I’d tossed Isaac to a hoard of seagulls.
“…then he grated in a human foot and pulled out a meat cleaver and threatened to grate me into the salad next, so Isaac fought him off while I grabbed our Japanese cooking knife and stabbed him through the heart, cleaned up the kitchen, and buried him in the backyard for the well drillers to find next week! Don’t worry, I replaced the sod.”
Chris was not amused. “I think we should throw that salad out.”
“I already ate some.”
Chris took a bite.
“I think it’s pretty good,” I continued. “and I think I can grate like that with my mixer attachments. So we can have Serial Killer Slaw again sometime.”
Chris smirked. Success!
The Brazen Head, established in 1198, is Ireland’s oldest pub. We had yum draft Harps there on the final sunny Sunday of our honeymoon.
Purple Corned Beef and Cabbage
Dump half a head of purple cabbage (sliced), some baby carrots, and three chopped potatoes into a slow cooker. Put a big hunk of flat cut corned beef on top and cook on high for five hours. The flat cut is more expensive than the pointed cut, but it’s better (my mom says. She knows). The beef comes with a little spice packet; rub it into the beef before cooking. Serve with Irish-ish beer, crusty bread, and Serial Killer Slaw (optional)!
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| blurry, but…a brief leprechaun sighting! |