Plan Bee

I have learned some things about yellow jackets. They’re not bees, it turns out. They’re little wasps, related to hornets. They can “overwinter” and become massive colonies. They can go unnoticed for years, apparently, until I want to use the office space in the attic, at which time they will come—literally—out of the woodwork. 

Seven weeks of continuous pest treatment by our diligent and reliable pest control company, all for the original “we’ll kill all your bees” price! After about 300 buzzers, I started keeping track. I have cleaned up over 700 dead, dying or smashed yellow jackets inside my home. This is not including the ones I find in the yard, on the porch, or that the neighbors report crawling across their entryway. 

SEVEN HUNDRED. OH GOOD HEAVENS HOW MASSIVE IS THIS HIVE AND WHAT DOES IT WANT FROM ME GO AWAY! 

The nest is somewhere in the walls of the attic, so the bug guy fogs up in there as best he can. The next step? Tearing apart the attic walls. 

If I see a small number of bees in the next two days—a small number would be less than 30—I’m supposed to call them. HELP US ALL. 

I fear for my sanity. I dream of bees. I hear humming and buzzing throughout the day. This may be my last entry.