Life Hack(ed)

Blogging is so out, according to everyone. I don’t care. It’s meditative for me. I started Passport Diaries 10 YEARS AGO, in April 2008. TEN YEARS AGO. I wanted to go one of Jacksonville, Florida’s fish markets at dawn and watch the fishing boats unload the catch of the day. We had our orders to Japan and as I flipped past a guidebook entry on Tokyo’s Tsukiji Fish Market I thought, “I can’t wait to go see that! Wait—I bet there’s a fish market around here I could check out, since we’re here.” So I sent myself on assignment and drove to the market in the dark and waited for it to open while the sky reflected pink over dolphins playing in the water.

Meditative, right? Or at least it used to be. Then blogger stopped updating their blogging app, so I made the expensive decision to buy a domain and set up a Word Press site and buy a laptop designed to break down in two to four years, all to do website stuff better. Part of me wants to blog about stuff I’d want to read about in a local magazine or something. Most of me wants to blog about whatever we’re doing, how adorable my kids are, and funny things they say. If I wanted to have a “successful” blog, I would do more of the former, and self-promote. I HATE THAT. And if I’m just writing about my kids, I don’t want to promote at all. What I really want to do is write for actual local magazines and blog about whatevas. That is a tough (impossible?) gig to find.

Anyway, lately I am about ready to give it all up and quit everything because my dang website got hacked. “This is extremely difficult and confusing and seems unknowable and unsolvable, but you know what? I surprised myself with all that running I was able to do with my friends a couple weeks ago in a relay, and I can probably figure this out, too,” I encouraged myself. It took a few hours, but I updated the code on my blog, made a mistake and crashed my entire site, edited the code to fix it, and updated all the security features and tightened security in general.

THEN IT GOT HACKED AGAIN a week later. “We will happily fix it for HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS,” said Sitelock, the company I am currently paying to make sure my website doesn’t get hacked. What am I even paying them for, exactly? “It’s just a blog for fun,” I told the unhelpful help guy on the phone as I got ready for a big, frustrated ugly cry.

A decade of personal fluff reporting reduced to a single white screen of death. I sobbed. I called my mom. I cried to Chris. Isaac hugged me. My mom prayed for me. My techie brother consulted via text.

I logged back in. I ran more security scans. I changed passwords. I deleted malware. I restored to backups. I reverted files. I replaced outdated widgets with new, more secure ones. The white screen of death stepped back to the wings and the regular homepage reappeared. For good? How can I know?

Then Chris and the kids and I Aloha Friday-ed out and took Paniolo’s burritos and Kona beers to the beach a couple hours before sunset. “I don’t even enjoy blogging anymore because the limited time I have to blog is spent driving my lemon laptop back to Best Buy or ferreting out malware. I don’t know if it’s even worth it anymore,” I lamented to Chris. I imagined a life where I didn’t feel any need to have a laptop or anti malware protection. It seemed nice. I guess hackers are modern pickpockets; they weasel into websites so anyone clicking around exposes their own computer to gross viruses that steal personal information. Like losing your wallet, it can ruin your week…or your credit. Gross. What a bummer.

The waves crashed, and the late afternoon sun hit the water so it glowed. The kids helped a little girl dig a swimming pool in the sand. Condensation sparkled on my Pineapple IPA. My thumbnail traced the edges of the Hawaiian island chain on the beer bottle. I studied the label. Hey, I could be in this label right now…I was even sitting in the chair on the right. I took a picture. I’m even blogging about it. But what if I just…didn’t? Am I enjoying that moment more for remembering it? Is it worth all the hacks and hassles?

What hobbies/obsessions do you have that frustrate you sometimes? Why do you do them?